The 12 Days of Anecdotes
In the spirit of the season, I plan to post 12 anecdotal holiday stories (all true) for you all to enjoy. When you feel like you can’t possibly see another fruit cake or hear another Christmas carol, I hope you come to my blog and relieve your stress with a laugh at my expense.
We only had a 4-day weekend and I already have nine stories! I am sure getting to 12 won’t be a problem.
Introducing… Day 1 of the 12 Days of Anecdotes:
“Happy Turdey Day” – Day 1
Thanksgiving at the Biz e-Home was a success – for the most part. Sure, it wasn’t without its share of minor mishaps, but what would the holidays be without some comic relief? This particular Turkey Day tale doesn’t have to do with any major cooking disaster or intolerable relative. Our family is much too unique for that old-hat.
After filling our bellies with a Rosemary-Apple turkey (my signature recipe thanks to Southern Living Magazine), Honey-Baked™ ham, loads of green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, egg noodles, candied sweet potatoes, herb stuffing, gravy, cranberries and several varieties of pie, our family took to the T.V. room to indulge in the other Thanksgiving pastime – football.
My mom and I headed to the kitchen to begin the clean up process. The kids played with their toys around the T.V. crawling up on the couch intermittently to sit on a cousin’s, aunt’s or uncle’s lap for some affection.
At one point my son toddled over to my uncle, who is 70-plus years old, and extended his arm showing my uncle something really cool he had just found. Of course, my uncle accepted the offering. He probably expected my son was handing him a block or a toy.
As this was happening, I saw my uncle furrow his brow and hold his hand out a bit (he is farsighted), trying to get a closer look at what this thing was that my adorable little boy had just handed him. It took about 10 seconds of examination (which seemed like an eternity) before I shouted, “That’s poop!”
What he got was a dog turd.
Apparently, one of my senior dogs who suffers from bouts of incontinence had started to relieve herself while walking to the back door to be let out. My son—being the little helper that he is—decided to pick up her waste soon after it left her bum and dropped on the floor. My sister appropriately described the scene as “equal parts funny and disgusting” at the same time.
I snatched up my pooper-scooping son and hustled him to the sink for a hand-washing while suggesting my uncle should do the same. What may have been the most humorous part of the incident was how calm my uncle remained during the whole thing. He didn’t scream or gag or drop the poop after he’d found out what it was. He actually waited for me to bring a tissue and remove it from his hand. He stood there just holding warm poop for a good 20 seconds in total. I guess he could’ve been in shock. In his defense, I have Yorkies so the poop was fairly small. Or, maybe once you reach the age of 70, you have seen so much excrement that it doesn’t faze you anymore.
Whatever the reason, from this day forward, I will affectionately refer to the family’s 2010 Thanksgiving “Turdey Day.”
- Happy Turkey Day! (bargaineering.com)
- Happy Turkey Day! +Quick Facts (socyberty.com)
- Thanksgiving family meals (dailykos.com)
- Thanksgiving Re-Cap  (mommamiameaculpa.com)
- Your Worst Thanksgiving Horror Stories [Contests] (gawker.com)
- Happy Turkey Day !! (middletownmike.blogspot.com)
- Happy Thanksgiving! (radioexile.com)
- “Happy Thanksgiving 2010 !” and related posts (dawnsstampingthoughts.net)