Man’s Best Friend, Not Bedfellow


I’ve always been an animal lover. As long as I can remember, I have grown up with pets of all sorts. I’ve had pet dogs, turtles, a rabbit, and birds. Because animals have always been a part of my life, I am one of those people who don’t mind sharing a bed with my pets as well. When I lived by myself after college, my pets were like my kids.  Having them to cuddle up to provided company. While companionship is great, co-sleeping with your dogs does have its drawbacks.

The guilty duo

Last night, for instance, my two Yorkshire Terriers found the need to lick a wet patch the size of a small pond on half of the bed. They’d taken their beloved Greenies to the safest spot they could think of and madly began licking away. I think they both use a multi-step process of conjuring up as much saliva as they can muster in order to first soften the Greenie, then they proceed to gnaw, chew, and pull on it until it comes apart.

My dog, Maddie, is 13 years old and Leigha is 12 years old. As is typical with their breed, they both have lost some teeth with old age. This has left left large gaps in their bite line — enough for drool to easily escape in the Greenie devouring process. Over the years, I have found everything from pig ears to flavored hooves in my sheets. Gross, I know, but I am sure there are others who can empathize.

Man’s best friend does not make the best bedfellow. This sort of pet/human relationship can put a damper on the romance in the household. It’s a little hard to get excited when you have another little organism lying on its back with all fours in the air snoring and sometimes even farting. Every time my husband and I try to be alone in the bed, the dogs bounce up and down on their hind legs trying to spring onto the bed and bust up any action that may be about to take place. It’s impossible to continue with anything when out of your periphery you see two little pairs of eyes peering over the bed in rapid fire sequence.  There’s Maddie…then Leigha…Maddie…Leigha…Maddie… DISTRACTING! Mojo gone.

Last night the weather was cooler. It was the perfect night for spooning—just not with my Yorkies. The entire time the dogs felt the need to be right up against me to keep warm. I had Maddie curled up in the crook behind my knee and Leigha was smack up against my chest just under my chin. Even if I tried to move, they’d reposition accordingly and settle back in within minutes. Add that to the damp half of the bed which I was trying to avoid and it didn’t leave much room for Biz e-Dad or me. Lucky for us, neither one of the Biz e-Babies decided to make an appearance because that would have been like squeezing a bunch of clowns in a very small circus car.

I believe having pets adds something wonderful to man’s life, to our family and to our happiness. The Biz e-Household wouldn’t be the same with those little lickers. It is sometimes just important to remind myself, that I am the alpha dog and those five-pound Yorkies don’t rule the house, despite what they may think.

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About bizemom

I am a busy working mom (get it... "Biz e-Mom"?) of three kids under the age of four. I have a white-collar day job, I have a night job as a mom, and an "in between" job as a freelance writer and blogger. What can I say, I am a glutton for punishment and I don't go to bed until 1 a.m. No matter how much I complain, I like being busy. That must be the Sagitarius in me--we get bored easily. Now on to the next adventure (I mean... venture!)
This entry was posted in Dads, Humor, Marriage, Men, Moms, Parenting, Pets, Raising children and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Man’s Best Friend, Not Bedfellow

  1. Bruce Sallan says:

    Wow, does this blog speak to me. When I was in the dark days of my divorce, my dogs almost literally saved my life sleeping with me when I felt so very alone. My boys and my dogs would all get on my bed and we’d crowd together and the collective warmth kept me sane and warm. When I met my 2nd wife, she was very clear – NO WAY – were the dogs allowed on the bed. She brought a 3rd dog to our family and many other wonderful things, but I still miss those moments with my dogs cuddling on the bed but, shhhh, don’t tell my wife. I love her totally, but I miss the dogs, too!

    • bizemom says:

      Your secret is safe with me. There is a comfort in having a pet’s unconditional love. My dogs have seen me cry over a few boys through the years and were there for me before my husband and kids. I totally get it.

  2. Kim Pugliano says:

    I feel your pain, only I feel it in a queen-sized bed with a chiweenie who is teeny and fits perfectly between us and a lab-pit mix who weighs 50 pounds and really really really wants to share a pillow with Daddy. And did I also mention the cat? She likes to sleep ON Daddy’s chest, with her right paw on his right shoulder and her left paw stretched out onto Mommy. Good times.

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